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Thursday, December 6, 2007

what is wrong with polygyny??? PART 3 ALLAAH knows what you hide!

as-salaamu `alaikum wa rahmatullaah yaa ikhwaan, and may ALLAAH guide all unto the haqq aamiin!


okay, i do give my sincere appologies for not having posted for a while again...
being a mummy, you know what i mean loool!

but alhamdulillaah i am back and thought i should write some more on the issue at hand, insha'Allaah

okay, so recently i have seen on forums and paltalk and yahoogroups etc, that the issue of polygyny is STILL disputed, EVEN by those who are actually IN polygynous marriages!
why is that?
usually it is down to several things:
jealousy & envy (and i have posted a hadiith in a previous post about this),
materialism (ie i am not getting as much time and money as i used to and this is unfair!)
the fact that sisters DO NOT want to accept the fact that it IS permissable for a man to marry a woman based on appearances!


Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be. upon him). I met the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously marrried? I said: With due previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could sport? I said: Allah's Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands cleave to dust. (saHiiH muslim, Book #008, Hadith #3458)


however, this hadiith is interpretted to mean that the BEST is to marry for diin, but the others are STILL permissable.

so, the sisters who keep coming up with the argument that "a man cannot marry a woman based on her appearance" are speaking nonsense!
they are in a western mindset in which they fume at the idea of her husband being "intimate" with the other wife, so they come up with ANY excuse to try to quel the husbands desires for another woman by making him feel guilty!
the FACT is they need to fight against the whispers of the shaytaan and not even think about the husband being intimate with the other wife, OR if the thoughts do enter the mind, then you should just see it that the sister is having her rights fulfilled and the husband is getting reward!


also, these sisters who, especially today, say things like " i accept polygyny, BUT it's not for me" or "even though i know it is halaal for my husband i could NEVER be in a polygynous marriage" or "i know it is allowed, and i accept it, however, i am a jealous person so i will put it in the contract that i do not want him to marry another woman...."
what i have to say to these sisters is- WHO are you TRYING to kid?????
me?
him (ie your husband)?
yourself??
or ALLAAH???

now, the example/metaphor i will use, is thus, insha'Allaah:
if you burn a cake to sinders, so it looks like a peice of charcoal, and you cover it with layers of cream, icing, chocolate, sprinkles and a cherry, to make that cake look "oh so beautiful and appealing" you AND Allaah know what is beneath that "cover-up"... whether or not you manage to convince the other people you will serve it to that the cake is perfect!
(do you understand what i mean???)

meaning, what you hide in your heart, ALLAAH and yourself know what you are hiding, whether or not you manage to convince everyone else otherwise!

by the way- for all of the sisters who seem to think that if they stipulate in the contract that the husband cannot marry a another wife, i have this hadiith to quote for you, insha'Allaah:

Narrated 'Aisha: Barira came to seek my help regarding her manumission. I told herself you like I would pay your price to your masters but your Al-Wala(1) would be for me." Her masters said, "If you like, you can pay what remains (of the price of her manumission), (Sufyan the sub-narrator once said), or if you like you can manumit her, but her (inheritance) Al-Wala would be for us. "When Allah's Apostle came, I spoke to him about it. He said, "Buy her and manumit her. No doubt Al-Wala(1) is for the manumitted." Then Allah's Apostle stood on the pulpit (or Allah's Apostle ascended the pulpit as Sufyan once said), and said, "What about some people who impose
conditions which are not present in Allah's Book (Laws)? Whoever imposes conditions which are not in Allah's Book (Laws), his conditions will be invalid even if he imposed them a hundred times." (saHiiH al-Bukhari, Book #8, Hadith #446)

another version:

Narrated 'Urwa: That 'Aisha told him that Buraira came to seek her help in her writing of emancipation (for a certain sum) and that time she had not paid anything of it. 'Aisha said to her, "Go back to your masters, and if they agree that I will pay the amount of your writing of emancipation and get your Wala', I will do so." Buraira informed her masters of that but they refused and said, "If she (i.e. 'Aisha) is seeking Allah's reward, then she can do so, but your Wala' will be for us." 'Aisha mentioned that to Allah's Apostle who said to her, "Buy and manumit her, as the Wala' is for the liberator." Allah's Apostle then got up and said, "What about the people who stipulate
conditions which are not present in Allah's Laws? Whoever imposes conditions which are not present in Allah's Laws, then those conditions will be invalid, even if he imposed these conditions a hundred times. Allah's conditions (Laws) are the truth and are more solid." (Book #46, Hadith #735)

now, the following hadiith is often quoted by "modernists" such as spubs, troid, etc, to support their claim that to stipulate such a condition in the contract is acceptable:

Narrated Uqba bin Amir: Allah's Apostle said, "From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled." (saHiiH al-Bukhari, Book #50, Hadith #882)

know that these ahadiith DO NOT contradict eachother, but actually COMPLEMENT eachother! why?
because RasuulAllaah, salla'ALlaahu `alayhi was-sallam, said that a contract, especially a marital contract MUST be adhered to, UNLESS it is a condition that goes against what Allaah ta'aala has stated!
get it?!
both are saHiiH and NEITHER rule out the other! they complement eachother and the first 2 i quoted actually clarify to people, that they MUST NOT adhere to a part of a contract that goes against what ALlaah has said! if we only had the hadiith that states to adhere to a marital contract fully, without the "HOWEVER" ahadiith, then we would be obeying our husband or wife in that which goes against Allaah!
see the wisdom of ALLAAH!
ALLAAHU AKBAR!
this proves the pre-eternal knowledge of Allaah, that Allaah clarified for His slaves that which He knew they would err in, IF it was not clarified, as obviously MAN IS WEAK!

and Allaahu ta'aala `aalam!

6 comments:

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anyhow thanks for the good read!

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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