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Friday, February 12, 2010

when is polygyny NOT allowed????

as-salaamu `alaykum ikhwaan
and peace be upon those who accept the guidance.

i thought i should address this issue, (and i apologize for having taken so long to get around to
it) for i do not want to lead people into a bad situation when they should be avoiding polygyny...

no, i haven't "lost my marbels" nor changed my stance on the allowance and the acceptance of polygyny, however, it must be relayed when polygyny is not recommended or when it is in fact classed as impermissible by the majority of `ulema.

with regards to the verse wherein allaah ta'aala states:
"so in case you fear that you will not act equitably towards the orphans... then marry women of your choice, two, three or four..."
aisha stated: and in case you fear that you will not act equitable towards orphans of women who are under your guardianship and your protection, then marry other women as is good for you. two if you wish, or three or four, because a sane man would give up the idea of marriage which may lead to injustice, in favour of another marriage which does not inflict any injustice."
(one must remember that she said this at the time of the sahaaba, and thus for her to state that if you still fear doing injustice you can marry others who are not orphans because a sane man will act justly out of fear of doing injustice, and remember these were a people far more god-fearing than the majority of people today.)

the other explanation of the verse is by sa`eed ibn jubayr, and states as follows:
"in case you fear that you will not act equitably toward orphans, then, by the same token, fear that you will not deal equitably with women who you would marry. then it is advisable to marry only a number of women to whom you will not fear doing injustice: two, three or four. in case you fear that you will not act equitably towards more than one wife, then marry only one wife (or what your right hand possesses). in the same way, a man who may fear that his deeds may inflict injustice on orphans, he should have such fear of doing injustice to his wives."

this explanation is now the explanation accepted within the ahl-us-sunnah, due to the lack of taqwa (mindlefulness of the creator) that is rife amongst us today. thus, the verdict has been issued that, if a man is already doing injustice towards his wife, it is impermissible to take another, for the verse states a fear of injustice, and not committing injustice already!
this verse clearly warns of not committing acts that lead to injustice with your wives or orphans, and thus a man committing injustice is not fit to marry another until he changes.
often, a woman fears polygyny because of injustice that her husband is already doing, and she fears that if he takes another wife then she and her children will suffer even more than they are already. thus, when a woman has such fears, she must voice her concerns to her husband, remind him to fear allaah, and remind him to abstain until he improves and fulfills ALL her rights!
this means the following:

not to revile her, nor strike her face and provide clothes, food and shelter, and provide emotional support as well as material and physical,

“Oh messenger of Allah, what are the rights of our woman upon us?” The Prophet answered what means: ((To provide her with the sustenance obligated upon you, to clothe her as you are obligated to , to abstain from abusing her verbally, mentally or physically (in accordance with the rules of Islam).

and:

Abu Juhayfa Wahb ibn 'Abdullah said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, joined Salman and Abu'd-Darda' together in brotherhood. Salman visited Abu'd-Darda' and saw Umm ad-Darda' poorly dressed and said to her, 'What's the matter with you?' She said, 'Your brother Abu'd-Darda' has no need of this world.' Abu'd-Darda' came and made some food for him. Salman said, 'Eat.' He said, 'I am fasting.' Salman said, 'I will not eat unless you eat.'" He said, "He ate. In the night, Abu'd-Darda' went to stand in prayer and Salman said to him, 'Sleep!' and he slept. Then he got up again and Salman said, 'Sleep!' At the end of the night, Salman said, 'Now get up and we will pray.' Salman said to him, 'Your Lord has rights over you and your self has rights over you, so give those with rights their due.' Abu'd-Darda' came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and mentioned this to him and the Prophet said, 'Salman spoke the truth.'"

not stay out late at night, for it is not even allowed to always pray all night (obviously this will lead to fatigue and neglecting the rights of the wife and others):

'Have I not been informed that you fast all day and pray all night?' I said, 'Yes, Messenger of Allah.' He said, 'Do not do it. Fast and break the fast, and sleep and pray. Your body has a right over you, your eye has a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitor has a right over you. It is enough for you to fast three days out of every month. Every good action is multiplied by ten, so that is like fasting all the time.' But I was austere then and made things hard for myself. I said, 'Messenger of Allah, I feel strong.' He said, 'Fast the fast of the Prophet of Allah, Da'ud, but do not do more than that.' I said, 'What is the fast of Da'ud?' He said, 'Half the time.'" When he was old, 'Abdullah used to say, "Would that I had accepted the easement of the Messenger of Allah!" (another variant also states that the children have rights over you too.)

to respect her and teach the children to respect her:

Abu Huraira reported that someone said: Allah's Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).


if a brother is lacking in these BASIC aspects of marriage, then he should not take another wife until he fears allaah almighty well and truly, and fulfills the rights she has over him.
IF a man has already taken a second wife and does these things, he must be reminded of these things, so that the sister does not know the truth and cease to spread it, for then she herself would be accountable for the treatment continuing!
and the almighty one true god knows best!

(thankyou for all the positive feedback i have been sent, i shall try to get more time in the near future to write more often!
no i am not a professional journalist/writer, but if anyone knows of any muslim magazines or sites that need people to write for them do let me know insha'allaah!)

thanks for reading!
and verily, all thanks and praises belong to allaah (lit.trans. the god) the lord of all that exists!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

what is wrong with polygyny??? PART 3 ALLAAH knows what you hide!

as-salaamu `alaikum wa rahmatullaah yaa ikhwaan, and may ALLAAH guide all unto the haqq aamiin!


okay, i do give my sincere appologies for not having posted for a while again...
being a mummy, you know what i mean loool!

but alhamdulillaah i am back and thought i should write some more on the issue at hand, insha'Allaah

okay, so recently i have seen on forums and paltalk and yahoogroups etc, that the issue of polygyny is STILL disputed, EVEN by those who are actually IN polygynous marriages!
why is that?
usually it is down to several things:
jealousy & envy (and i have posted a hadiith in a previous post about this),
materialism (ie i am not getting as much time and money as i used to and this is unfair!)
the fact that sisters DO NOT want to accept the fact that it IS permissable for a man to marry a woman based on appearances!


Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be. upon him). I met the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously marrried? I said: With due previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could sport? I said: Allah's Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands cleave to dust. (saHiiH muslim, Book #008, Hadith #3458)


however, this hadiith is interpretted to mean that the BEST is to marry for diin, but the others are STILL permissable.

so, the sisters who keep coming up with the argument that "a man cannot marry a woman based on her appearance" are speaking nonsense!
they are in a western mindset in which they fume at the idea of her husband being "intimate" with the other wife, so they come up with ANY excuse to try to quel the husbands desires for another woman by making him feel guilty!
the FACT is they need to fight against the whispers of the shaytaan and not even think about the husband being intimate with the other wife, OR if the thoughts do enter the mind, then you should just see it that the sister is having her rights fulfilled and the husband is getting reward!


also, these sisters who, especially today, say things like " i accept polygyny, BUT it's not for me" or "even though i know it is halaal for my husband i could NEVER be in a polygynous marriage" or "i know it is allowed, and i accept it, however, i am a jealous person so i will put it in the contract that i do not want him to marry another woman...."
what i have to say to these sisters is- WHO are you TRYING to kid?????
me?
him (ie your husband)?
yourself??
or ALLAAH???

now, the example/metaphor i will use, is thus, insha'Allaah:
if you burn a cake to sinders, so it looks like a peice of charcoal, and you cover it with layers of cream, icing, chocolate, sprinkles and a cherry, to make that cake look "oh so beautiful and appealing" you AND Allaah know what is beneath that "cover-up"... whether or not you manage to convince the other people you will serve it to that the cake is perfect!
(do you understand what i mean???)

meaning, what you hide in your heart, ALLAAH and yourself know what you are hiding, whether or not you manage to convince everyone else otherwise!

by the way- for all of the sisters who seem to think that if they stipulate in the contract that the husband cannot marry a another wife, i have this hadiith to quote for you, insha'Allaah:

Narrated 'Aisha: Barira came to seek my help regarding her manumission. I told herself you like I would pay your price to your masters but your Al-Wala(1) would be for me." Her masters said, "If you like, you can pay what remains (of the price of her manumission), (Sufyan the sub-narrator once said), or if you like you can manumit her, but her (inheritance) Al-Wala would be for us. "When Allah's Apostle came, I spoke to him about it. He said, "Buy her and manumit her. No doubt Al-Wala(1) is for the manumitted." Then Allah's Apostle stood on the pulpit (or Allah's Apostle ascended the pulpit as Sufyan once said), and said, "What about some people who impose
conditions which are not present in Allah's Book (Laws)? Whoever imposes conditions which are not in Allah's Book (Laws), his conditions will be invalid even if he imposed them a hundred times." (saHiiH al-Bukhari, Book #8, Hadith #446)

another version:

Narrated 'Urwa: That 'Aisha told him that Buraira came to seek her help in her writing of emancipation (for a certain sum) and that time she had not paid anything of it. 'Aisha said to her, "Go back to your masters, and if they agree that I will pay the amount of your writing of emancipation and get your Wala', I will do so." Buraira informed her masters of that but they refused and said, "If she (i.e. 'Aisha) is seeking Allah's reward, then she can do so, but your Wala' will be for us." 'Aisha mentioned that to Allah's Apostle who said to her, "Buy and manumit her, as the Wala' is for the liberator." Allah's Apostle then got up and said, "What about the people who stipulate
conditions which are not present in Allah's Laws? Whoever imposes conditions which are not present in Allah's Laws, then those conditions will be invalid, even if he imposed these conditions a hundred times. Allah's conditions (Laws) are the truth and are more solid." (Book #46, Hadith #735)

now, the following hadiith is often quoted by "modernists" such as spubs, troid, etc, to support their claim that to stipulate such a condition in the contract is acceptable:

Narrated Uqba bin Amir: Allah's Apostle said, "From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled." (saHiiH al-Bukhari, Book #50, Hadith #882)

know that these ahadiith DO NOT contradict eachother, but actually COMPLEMENT eachother! why?
because RasuulAllaah, salla'ALlaahu `alayhi was-sallam, said that a contract, especially a marital contract MUST be adhered to, UNLESS it is a condition that goes against what Allaah ta'aala has stated!
get it?!
both are saHiiH and NEITHER rule out the other! they complement eachother and the first 2 i quoted actually clarify to people, that they MUST NOT adhere to a part of a contract that goes against what ALlaah has said! if we only had the hadiith that states to adhere to a marital contract fully, without the "HOWEVER" ahadiith, then we would be obeying our husband or wife in that which goes against Allaah!
see the wisdom of ALLAAH!
ALLAAHU AKBAR!
this proves the pre-eternal knowledge of Allaah, that Allaah clarified for His slaves that which He knew they would err in, IF it was not clarified, as obviously MAN IS WEAK!

and Allaahu ta'aala `aalam!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

useful advice from a muslimah's first school...

A MOTHER'S ADVICE TO A MUSLIMAH!

beautiful reminders from the childs first school, the lap of the mother!
may Allaah ta'aala bless us with the ability to raise and teach our children to the highest of all standards, treading the strait path of the Qur'aan and Sunnaah, aamiin yaa Rabb'il `alamiin!

E N J O YYYYYY!

"...it serves as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and helps those who are wise..."

fi amaan illaah x

a reflection on polygyny...

as-salaamu `alaikum wa rahmatullaah!

another interesting talk- this time on the issue of POLYGYNY!
maasha'Allaah the brother has some very good points!
once again- E N J O YYYYY !
fi amaan illaah x





Friday, November 2, 2007

what's wrong with polygyny? PART 2 obedience IS liberation!

as-salaamu `alaikum wa rahmatullaah yaa ikhwaan!

wow i am soooo very sorry i have not been able to post any material for a while, due to one thing or another...
anyhow, insha'Allaah i will attempt to continue my previous post, insha'Allaah...

i am sure i am not the only sister that has noticed this evident "feminism" amongst the muslim women of today! how they seem to act like the kufaar women who bleat on like sheep about the "liberation" of women from certain rulings within islaam!
whether this be:

(1) niqaab (which is actually FARDH! which i shall address in a later post insha'Allaah & FYI i did NOT know this prior to choosing to adorn it, so like myself many have the excuse of ignorance on this issue inshaa'allah) which was only abandoned after the colonization of the muslim lands!
(sisters, WAKE UP! niqaab IS from the religion whether you like it or not! conceal yourselves for your husbands and your mahram, and be recognized as FREE WOMEN insha'Allaah! if not, then atleast don't attack the sisters who choose to wear it in  aspiring to attain a higher level of spirituality)
(2) polygyny (obviously is the subject of my post, insha'Allaah!)...
one thing that is still distressing me greatly about this issue is the fact that the west seem to think polygyny is something muslim women must be "liberated" from, and unfortunately many muslims are now taking this stance also! na'auuthu billaah!
they seem to act like they think polygyny is unjust to women and seem to forget that ALLAAH TA'AALA has allowed this!
DO THEY THINK ALLAAH TA'AALA IS UNJUST TO HIS SLAVES? THAT HE LIKES TO OPPRESS HIS SLAVES???
NA'AUUTHU BILLAAH! astaghfirullaah!
(i obviously am not saying it is fardh to be in polygyny, but what i am saying is that it is something that should be accepted and that people realise that it is something allowed if you are a muslim as long as the husband fulfills certain criteria - which i shall address in a later post inshaallaah)
(3) hijaab in general!
now by this i mean many things, including the fact that we should "lower our gaze and guard our private parts" as Allaah ta'aala has mentioned in His Noble Qur'aan.
i also mean the fact that some sisters have become soooo westernized that they walk around in tight-arse jeans and tops with a scarf on their head and think THIS is hijaab! OR they cover completely but REFUSE to wear niqaab! (obviously i mean people who show contempt towards the niqaab, NOT those who do not know about the rulings, have low emaan etc - may Allaah have mercy on us all) OR they think that they do not even have to cover themselves because they are in a western country! ASTAGHFIRULLAAH do they not think Allaah ta'aala's laws govern the ENTIRE EARTH, not merely arabia or asia as many of them say!
na'auuthu billaah! ikhwaan THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU (1) DO NOT TEACH YOUR CHILDREN DIIN and (2) start to ABANDON DIIN AL-ISLAAM!
astaghfirullaah what is becoming of the ummaah of the beloved light of islaam, sayyiduna muhammad, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam!

okay so anyway i shall get back to my point, insha'Allaah ta'aala.
BASICALLY the ideology of liberation from scripture as been instilled within many of our sisters, and sadly, even within some of the `ulema, who tell the west AND our sisters more importantly,
that niqaab is not from the religion and is part of pagan arab culture, that polygyny is not good and should be eradicated (they seem to overlook the FACT that Allaah ta'aala has made it so that women outnumber men BY FAR! why do they think this is so if it isn't for the fact that men should ste
p up to the responsibility of having more than 1 wife! -4 is the maximum in islaam though-),
that to want to follow ones religion is extremism,
to want to home school your children
is ridiculous despite the fact it is a right to do so long as you are fulfilling your childs need..
that islaam is outdated and should not be followed in the technological age!
na'auuthu billaah!

astaghfirullaah!
(and making such claims to be `ulema and uttering statements such as these shows that they are far from being qualified scholars!
remember, `umar, radhiyallaahu ta'aala anhu said:
one of the things i fear most for this ummaah is delusion!
when a man lays claim to being an `alim (scholar) know that he is a jaahil(ignoramous), when he says that he is a muslim, know that he is a kaafir, and when he says he will enter jannah, know that he will enter jahannam...
SUBHAANALLAAH


so then we have sisters taking on these views... thinking it is perfectly acceptable to work in mixed environments (not that i agree with this, but if they do, for example, as a doctor or teacher etc, as we do have a right and often a need to visit muslim doctors rather than non-muslim ones! they should at least be wearing the niqaab, or striving hard in deen atleast!)
and do not cover properly even though they may be around non-mahram males and females!

they think it is perfectly okay to go here. there, and everywhere many taking unnecessary risks at times...
we have sisters who refuse to give their husbands their rights in the home or out of the home, for example, they spend so much time with their "sisters" gossiping and backbiting or shopping or, astaghfirullaah, partying, or free mixing, and then they hardly spend any time with their husband! they don't look after him romantically, or emotionally! they seem to forget that men need love and affection too! not just women!
something i have noticed recently throughout the internet, book shops, etc, is that sooooo many things are focusing on "women's rights" but HARDLY ANYTHING regarding the rights of the HUSBAND!
it's as if this western way that many men are unjust to their women is infiltrating its way into the ummaah! and we seem to forget that as long as our husbands take rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam, as their example HOW ON EARTH can they be unjust???
it is as if people think that "hey! the only person who does not fulfill the rights of the spouse is the husband!"
urhh, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE SISTERS!

the Prophet (salla'allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.’" (ahmad and at-tabarani)

it is quite often that sisters are married to good PRACTICING brothers and THEY are the ones who do not fulfill HIS rights, but are so MATERIALISTIC and SELFISH that they expect HIM to pay out all this money for things she wants, and she gives ZILCH in return (except for maybe his dinner!). astaghfirullaah...amongst the husband's rights are those quoted in the ahadiith:

Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "The best possession is a pious wife: when the husband looks at her he is pleased with her, when he orders her to do something she obeys, when the husband goes out, she protects her honour and chastity and remains in her home.
According to a report given by Muslim, he (salla'allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“A woman should not fast if her husband is present, except with his permission. She should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission. Whatever she spends of his wealth without him having told her to do so, half of the reward for it will be given to him."
subhaanallaah soooo many sisters do not fulfill these rights BUT expect their husbands to fulfill everything with them 100%! thus abandoning their obligation to him as they are always nagging HIM to please THEM!

then this STUBBORNNESS is what leads to the wife REFUSING to accept polygyny! (insha'Allaah this will make you think, insha'Allaah!)Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "Allah has prescribed jealousy for women and jihâd for men. If a woman exercises patience with îmân in the hope for reward on account of a certain action which may cause her to be jealous, such as her husband marrying a second wife, then she will receive the reward of a martyr."
(KANZAL `UMAAL)

SUBHAANALLAAH, WAL-HAMDU-LILLAAH, WA LAA ILLAAHA ILL ALLAAH! WA'ALLAAHU AKBAR KABIIRAA!!!

that's right - SELFISHNESS, and MATERIALISM (amongst many other things, like the shaytaan's whispers, for example)!

"it's all about the bengamins baby!" as those juhaal say... aka MONEY!
we see sooooo many sisters who are now so WRAPPED UP in dunya that they forget the aakhirah!
they forget the teachings of islaam!
Allah’s Messenger (salla'allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober... (ibn hiban in his sahih)


you know, the fact that many of the sisters of today do not fulfill the rights of the husband is why soooo many brothers are so unhappy, and you know that:
umm salamah (radhiyallaahu ta'aala anha) narrated that rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam, said:
any woman who dies while her husband being pleased with her will enter jannah. (tirmidhi)

also

the Prophet (salla'allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):
“Three things make the son of Adam happy, and three make him miserable. Among the things that make the son of Adam happy are a good wife, a good home and a good means of transport; the things that make him miserable are a bad wife, a bad home and a bad means of transport.” (ahmad)

now how many of you sisters DO try to PLEASE your husband?
so that if you "cop it" in 5minutes you will leave this world with him PLEASED with you, and NOT angry or upset or frustrated or disappointed with you?
also, and this hadiith is VERY SERIOUS and even knowledgeable sisters forget this!
mu'adh (radhiyallaahu ta'aala anhu) narrates that rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was'sallam, said:
no woman annoys her husband in this world but that his wife/wives among the large-eyed huuriyiin say "DO NOT ANNOY HIM! MAY ALLAAH SEIZE YOU! He is only a PASSING GUEST with you and is about to leave you and come to us!" (mishkat)
subhaanallaah! sisters FEAR ALLAAH! each time you distress, annoy, depress, reject, upset, shun, ignore, walk-all-over and order your husband around, that you are invoking the curses of the maidens of jannah! why is it then, that you cease to take heed of warning???
another hadiith:
abu hurayrah (radhiyallaahu ta'aala anhu) narrates that rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam, said:
when a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come (without a good reason), so he spends the night in displeasure, the angels curse her till morning.
in another narration:
when a husband calls his wife to fulfill his desire, she must oblige even if she is at the fire (cooking something).
OH ALLAAH SAVE US FROM THE CURSES OF THE ANGELS AND HUURIYIIN!
AAMIIIIIIIN!
oh sisters why are SO many of you so heedless that you do not let your husband have his rights?
polygyny or whatever you MUST obey him in ALL that is halaal!

abu hurayrah (radhiyallaahu ta`'aala anhu) narrates that rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was'sallam, said:
if i were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone (other than Allaah ta'aala), i would command that the wife prostrate to her husband. (mishkat)
the amount of sisters today who are following such jaahiliyyah will have no one to blame but themselves if they do not take heed of the commands and advice given by Allaah ta'aala and His noble rasuul, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam!
i pray that Allaah ta'aala allows some of you, even if it is merely 1 of you, to take heed of the reminders that i am posting for YOUR BENEFIT and, insha'Allaah, your husband's also!
what good is having your husband in this life if you aren't given him in paradise?
what good is having a family with him if you do not fulfill his rights?
WOE UNTO YOU those who divorce their husbands, or those out of shear SPITE and EVIL FROM SHAYTAAN, and who as a result do not allow the children to see their father!
the husband takes another wife, the first wife attempts to cut all ties and to forbid him from seeing his children! na'auuthu billaah!
i have heard of this happen several times, or those who end up being divorced by their husbands for many reasons, MAINLY because they DO NOT fulfill his rights (and why do they expect him to remain with them if they don't! as they go crazy if he doesn't fulfill her rights!), and then, on top of all this, they then refuse him to see his children!
astaghfirullaah ALLAAH save us from such evil aamiin!
so, to be truly liberated, and, insha'Allaah, to be saved from hellfire, OBEY THE HUSBAND AND FULFILL HIS RIGHTS!
you are not the only person who has rights to be fulfilled, HE DOES TOO!
and, as you have seen, this being neglected is a result of the curses of the huuriyiin and angels falling upon your shoulders!
we ALL need to learn our diin, improve on little bits and pieces, and yes the brothers ALSO need to focus on improvements too,
BUT at the end of the day what is better for you?
to have the reassurance from rasuulallaah, our beloved nabi, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam, that as long as we try our best, we are earning the pleasure of ALLAAH!
THIS surely is our ULTIMATE goal!
DO NOT listen to the shaytaan and be like the kuffaar who only want materialism, who only care about dunya and forget aakhirah, who are selfish and spiteful, who oppose polygyny (but yet who overlook affairs and fornication with many women at the same time), who find niqaab oppressive, who find being a housewife "boring, oppression, sad, backward, strange" etc.

BE LIKE A MUSLIMAH!
love to teach your children the diin!
love to please and obey your husband in all that is HALAAL, even if these will be humongous tests for you!
love to adorn niqaab!
love to observe the correct hijaab!
love your beloved, your prophet, salla'allaahu `alayhi was'sallam

and above al
l

LOVE ALLAAH, SUBHAANAHU WA TA'AALA!
may Allaah ta'aala guide us all unto the straight path!
and may He let this blog benefit at least some people, even if it is one!
AAMIIN yaa Rabb'il `alamiin!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

what is wrong with polygyny???


as-salaamu `alaikum all my muslim brothers and sisters!

okay okay, i know this is an extensive issue, (i will, insha'Allaah, at a later date, post something which has been checked over by a shaykh!)

but, for now, i feel i HAVE TO ADDRESS, the MANY muslims of today (especially the sisters) who contend polygyny (only in a short post really to make them think, insha'Allaah)

i have seen the issue contended time and time and time again, in person (when asking someone if they would be a co-wife, for example), on forums, chat rooms, bloggs, etc, and it is distressing me greatly at seeing just how many sisters are taking this "modernist stance" and, quite simply, not truely fearing Allaah, if their husband is desperate for another wife and is unable to supress his nafs,for whatever reason!

SUBHAANALLAAH polygyny is in the Qur'aan!
WHO ARE YOU TO CONTEND IT OR TO CHALLENGE WHAT ALLAAH MADE HALAL FOR OUR BROTHERS???

(okay, outburst over, insha'Allaah!)

but seriously, when you sisters make EVERY EXCUSE IN THE BOOK, as to why you "simply would not allow" your husband to marry another sister, it HAS to be addressed, and you HAVE to be told, by a fellow sister in islaam, if you will not listen to Allaah, His Rasool, the scholars etc, that your reasons are SIMPLY NOT VALID!
why???

well, for starters, Allaah says in the Qur'aan al-Kariim, what means:

4:3
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphangirls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.


(following taken from tafsiir ibn kathiir:)
(two or three, or four), means, marry as many women as you like, other than the orphan girls, two, three or four. We should mention that Allah's statement in another Ayah,

(Who made the angels messengers with wings, - two or three or four) [35:1], does not mean that other angels do not have more than four wings, as there are proofs that some angels do have more wings. Yet, men are prohibited from marrying more than four wives, as the Ayah decrees, since the Ayah specifies what men are allowed of wives, as Ibn `Abbas and the majority of scholars stated. If it were allowed for them to have more than four wives, the Ayah would have mentioned it. Imam Ahmad recorded that Salim said that his father said that Ghilan bin Salamah Ath-Thaqafi had ten wives when he became Muslim, and the Prophet said to him, "Choose any four of them (and divorce the rest).'' During the reign of `Umar, Ghilan divorced his remaining wives and divided his money between his children. When `Umar heard news of this, he said to Ghilan, "I think that the devil has conveyed to your heart the news of your imminent death, from what the devil hears during his eavesdropping. It may as well be that you will not remain alive but for a little longer. By Allah! You will take back your wives and your money, or I will take possession of this all and will order that your grave be stoned as is the case with the grave of Abu Righal (from Thamud, who was saved from their fate because he was in the Sacred Area. But, when he left it, he was tormented like they were).'' Ash-Shafi`i, At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ad-Daraqutni and Al-Bayhaqi collected this Hadith up to the Prophet's statement, "Choose any four of them.'' Only Ahmad collected the full version of this Hadith. Therefore, had it been allowed for men to marry more than four women at the same time, the Prophet would have allowed Ghilan to keep more than four of his wives since they all embraced Islam with him. When the Prophet commanded him to keep just four of them and divorce the rest, this indicated that men are not allowed to keep more than four wives at a time under any circumstances. If this is the case concerning those who already had more than four wives upon embracing Islam, then this ruling applies even more so to marrying more than four.

PLEASE NOTE that the verse from the Qur'aan says "women YOU choose"
NOT women who your wife chooses, or rather, will not choose!

why is it then, that you continue to state that you would "not be in such a marriage", would "refuse to be in such a marriage" and "if my husband takes another wife i will divorce him!"

so, you either think it is YOU who wears the trousers, and can tell your husband what to do, even though it is YOU who should obey your husband in ALL that is halal, as jannaah is at HIS feet!
remember, in a hadiith saHiH, an-nabi, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallim, said
"if i had been able to ask anyone to prostrate before another, i would have asked the wife to prostrate to her husband (out of respect)"

SUBHAANALLAAH!
how many of you sisters forget this hadiith by blantantly objecting to your husbands wishes and making him feel guilty for wanting that which Allaah, subHaanahu wa ta'ala, has made halal for him!

now, let me paint you a little picture, insha'Allaah (this should really make you think, insha'Allaah)

okay, so, your husband and you are happily married, and one day, he tells you that he is attracted to: the sister at the local masjid/your friend/his cousin etc, and that he wishes to marry her, OR that simply living in the west is too much fitnah and he needs another wife, because he fears that if he does not take another, then he will fall into committing adultery with his eyes/heart/mind/hands/feet etc...

now, you go schitz at him and say "NO! IF YOU WISH TO TAKE ANOTHER WOMAN YOU MUST DIVORCE ME FIRST"
or you start saying "but i am a very jealous person... this breaks my heart... i cannot bare to imagine you with another woman... aren't you happy with me?... etc etc etc"
now, if you say (a) you are going to break your husbands heart because he wants to stay married to you because he loves you, maybe he has children with you, maybe you have been married many years, etc, and if you opt for (b), then you are going to make him feel guilty about his desires which he is TELLING you about out of respect for you because HE LOVES YOU!

now, he can say "okay, forget it", then he continues to think about other sisters... romantically etc... committing zina, which is punishable by hellfire, OR, he takes another wife without telling you who she is, where she lives, what she is like, and then tells you when he is married!
(and i don't know about you sisters BUT i would rather know WHO my husband is planning to marry, and WHEN! maybe even help him to cho
ose and establish whether she is good for him or not! not make my husband feel so bad about him wanting another wife that (a) i don't even attend the nikah because i don't even know about it! and (b) have to get to know a COMPLETE AND UTTER STRANGER! how awkward would that be??? and how bad would you feel about missing your husbands nikah? wouldn't this cause IMMENSE jealousy???)

now, if you INSIST again and again that he divorces you, and he does to save fitnah, then what will happen to the good brother you first married?
he will be married to another woman, and start committing zina AGAIN because now he cannot stop thinking about... who?

yes, that's right, YOU!


wa'Allaahu ta`ala `aalam

rasuulallaah, salla'allaahu `alayhi was-sallam, said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no good reason will be deprived of even smelling the scent of Paradise.” (tirmidhi and ibn hibban)

okay! so, sisters who start to make their husbands feel bad about what their husband desires, coincidentally trying to make haraam on their husband what Allaah ta`ala has made halal, what are they doing to their husband???
do they/you WANT him to go to hellfire???
or would you rather bask in the gardens of jannah with him in the hereafter, because you observed patience throughout this trial for you, the patience of polygyny, the striving to please your husband even HARDER because he is not with you all the time!...???

now, the excuse of "jealousy..."
well, that is quite simple...
it can be experienced by ANYONE, even by the MOST PIOS women!
remember, aa'ishah, radhiy'allaahu ta`ala anha, was the MOST JEALOUS of the wives of nabi- salla'allaahu `alayhi was sallim, and this was possibly another reason why he, `alayhis-salaatu was-sallam, loved her the most.

Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "Allah has prescribed jealousy for women and jihâd for men. If a woman exercises patience with îmân in the hope for reward on account of a certain action which may cause her to be jealous, such as her husband marrying a second wife, then she will receive the reward of a martyr."
(KANZAL `UMAAL)

(see the site below for useful ahadiith and info, insha'Allaah!
http://www.ahya.org/amm/modules.php?name=Sections&op=viewarticle&artid=181)

Hasad can cause the person to indulge in disbelief because it causes the individual to feel that Allah has not been fair with him; he forgets all the mercy and blessings which Allah has bestowed upon him. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "They are enemies for Allah's bounties." They asked: "Who are they?" He said: "Those who envy people for what Allah has given them of Bounty." [at-Tabaranee]

now, of course, i don't mean the type of jealousy where you envy the other wife something rotten!
this is evil and from the shaytaan and would need to be controlled if this was experienced, but the emotions that mean you actually strive harder to do things for your husband, to make the house nice, your appearance nice, etc, because you want to please him as much as possible and to show that even though he has another wife, that doesn't mean that you have "gone off of him" or do not love him anymore!
BUT alhamdulillaah, it is a trial for us if our husband ever does take on another wife! and insha'Allaah let us pray that we pass the test with flying colours on yawm-ul-qiyaama aamiin!

oh, and, by the way,
this whole business of being belligerent regarding this issue could even lead to MAJOR SHIRK on both sides, and i will leave YOU to think about ALL the possible reasons WHY this is so...

(and we know what happens to those who commit MAJOR shirk...)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

welcome to the "little black blog"

as-salaamu `alaikum yaa muslimiin
was-salaamu `ala manit-taba` al huda yaa kaafiriin

(the peace be upon you, oh muslims
and the peace be upon those who accept the guidance, oh infidels.)

welcome to my blog!

within this blogg i hope to address some of the issues which arise today in the media, and in other places, that are being disputed, for no just reason, from the teachings of islaam.

the purpose of the blogg, i hope, insha'Allaah, is to open peoples eyes to what islaam really teaches, and to smash to pieces the claims of the "so-called modernists" that certain issues do not apply in the "modern world"....

well, seeing as though islaam is the final religion revealed by Allaah most High, the laws and teachings within it are to be followed and obeyed UNTILL THE END OF TIME
(which i do not think has happened just yet, do you???)

any good that i say within this blogg is from Allaah, and anything bad or wrong that i may say is from myself and shaytaan.

okeydokey, let's get BLOGGIN'!
lol : P