when is polygyny NOT allowed????

as-salaamu `alaykum ikhwaan
and peace be upon those who accept the guidance.

i thought i should address this issue, (and i apologize for having taken so long to get around to
it) for i do not want to lead people into a bad situation when they should be avoiding polygyny...

no, i haven't "lost my marbels" nor changed my stance on the allowance and the acceptance of polygyny, however, it must be relayed when polygyny is not recommended or when it is in fact classed as impermissible by the majority of `ulema.

with regards to the verse wherein allaah ta'aala states:
"so in case you fear that you will not act equitably towards the orphans... then marry women of your choice, two, three or four..."
aisha stated: and in case you fear that you will not act equitable towards orphans of women who are under your guardianship and your protection, then marry other women as is good for you. two if you wish, or three or four, because a sane man would give up the idea of marriage which may lead to injustice, in favour of another marriage which does not inflict any injustice."
(one must remember that she said this at the time of the sahaaba, and thus for her to state that if you still fear doing injustice you can marry others who are not orphans because a sane man will act justly out of fear of doing injustice, and remember these were a people far more god-fearing than the majority of people today.)

the other explanation of the verse is by sa`eed ibn jubayr, and states as follows:
"in case you fear that you will not act equitably toward orphans, then, by the same token, fear that you will not deal equitably with women who you would marry. then it is advisable to marry only a number of women to whom you will not fear doing injustice: two, three or four. in case you fear that you will not act equitably towards more than one wife, then marry only one wife (or what your right hand possesses). in the same way, a man who may fear that his deeds may inflict injustice on orphans, he should have such fear of doing injustice to his wives."

this explanation is now the explanation accepted within the ahl-us-sunnah, due to the lack of taqwa (mindlefulness of the creator) that is rife amongst us today. thus, the verdict has been issued that, if a man is already doing injustice towards his wife, it is impermissible to take another, for the verse states a fear of injustice, and not committing injustice already!
this verse clearly warns of not committing acts that lead to injustice with your wives or orphans, and thus a man committing injustice is not fit to marry another until he changes.
often, a woman fears polygyny because of injustice that her husband is already doing, and she fears that if he takes another wife then she and her children will suffer even more than they are already. thus, when a woman has such fears, she must voice her concerns to her husband, remind him to fear allaah, and remind him to abstain until he improves and fulfills ALL her rights!
this means the following:

not to revile her, nor strike her face and provide clothes, food and shelter, and provide emotional support as well as material and physical,

“Oh messenger of Allah, what are the rights of our woman upon us?” The Prophet answered what means: ((To provide her with the sustenance obligated upon you, to clothe her as you are obligated to , to abstain from abusing her verbally, mentally or physically (in accordance with the rules of Islam).

and:

Abu Juhayfa Wahb ibn 'Abdullah said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, joined Salman and Abu'd-Darda' together in brotherhood. Salman visited Abu'd-Darda' and saw Umm ad-Darda' poorly dressed and said to her, 'What's the matter with you?' She said, 'Your brother Abu'd-Darda' has no need of this world.' Abu'd-Darda' came and made some food for him. Salman said, 'Eat.' He said, 'I am fasting.' Salman said, 'I will not eat unless you eat.'" He said, "He ate. In the night, Abu'd-Darda' went to stand in prayer and Salman said to him, 'Sleep!' and he slept. Then he got up again and Salman said, 'Sleep!' At the end of the night, Salman said, 'Now get up and we will pray.' Salman said to him, 'Your Lord has rights over you and your self has rights over you, so give those with rights their due.' Abu'd-Darda' came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and mentioned this to him and the Prophet said, 'Salman spoke the truth.'"

not stay out late at night, for it is not even allowed to always pray all night (obviously this will lead to fatigue and neglecting the rights of the wife and others):

'Have I not been informed that you fast all day and pray all night?' I said, 'Yes, Messenger of Allah.' He said, 'Do not do it. Fast and break the fast, and sleep and pray. Your body has a right over you, your eye has a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitor has a right over you. It is enough for you to fast three days out of every month. Every good action is multiplied by ten, so that is like fasting all the time.' But I was austere then and made things hard for myself. I said, 'Messenger of Allah, I feel strong.' He said, 'Fast the fast of the Prophet of Allah, Da'ud, but do not do more than that.' I said, 'What is the fast of Da'ud?' He said, 'Half the time.'" When he was old, 'Abdullah used to say, "Would that I had accepted the easement of the Messenger of Allah!" (another variant also states that the children have rights over you too.)

to respect her and teach the children to respect her:

Abu Huraira reported that someone said: Allah's Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).


if a brother is lacking in these BASIC aspects of marriage, then he should not take another wife until he fears allaah almighty well and truly, and fulfills the rights she has over him.
IF a man has already taken a second wife and does these things, he must be reminded of these things, so that the sister does not know the truth and cease to spread it, for then she herself would be accountable for the treatment continuing!
and the almighty one true god knows best!

(thankyou for all the positive feedback i have been sent, i shall try to get more time in the near future to write more often!
no i am not a professional journalist/writer, but if anyone knows of any muslim magazines or sites that need people to write for them do let me know insha'allaah!)

thanks for reading!
and verily, all thanks and praises belong to allaah (lit.trans. the god) the lord of all that exists!